Dear LFD Healers

I am aware you are bored, and would be even without your puppylike whining as I heal as well when I’m not tanking. The only time I always have something to do as a healer is when the tank is inexperienced, undergeared, or both, and I’m not any of these things on any of my tanking toons. Hell, if I’m trailing along after one of the other raid tanks in the guild, I might as well have a Sudoku puzzle out in between refreshing Beacon, Sacred Shield, and Judgment of Light, because the only way I’m going to have something else to do is if one of the DPS pulls threat.

That said, the limitation on the number of mobs I pull at any given time is not my health bar. Having a big health bar and a lot of avoidance and mitigation is my reason for existence as a tank. They are there to make sure I’m easy to keep up through high boss damage and cases in which Everything Has Gone To Hell. I’m NOT nervous about dying- I’m well aware that the odds are, if indeed everything has gone to hell, I will be the last one standing.

The limitation on the size of my pulls isn’t how much you have to heal me, it’s how many mobs I can control. In a dungeon with casters, which is all of them, and a dungeon with linking mobs that run away to find help when they’re low on health, which is most of them, I can’t count on being able to round up a truly large pack and keep them there and keep their attention firmly fixated on me. I do have some control abilities to stop runners and to silence casters long enough to get them to me, but my ability to use these tools is strongly limited by cooldowns and how many varyingly located mobs I can pay attention to at once.

The more I’m running around trying to keep my plates spinning, the more confused the DPS is and likewise running around. The bigger the pull, the more likely it is that none of them are attacking the same thing, let alone attacking something I safely have a big threat lead on. This means most if not all the DPS will be pulling threat, which means big heals for them as well as for me as I turn my back to a large pack of following melee as I try to catch casters and pick up incoming mobs that runners have pulled.

The key point that I’m leading up to here is that, once a pull has gotten large enough that the healer is really challenged, the only person in the room consistently gaining threat on all the mobs in combat is the healer. I know you’re not watching a threat meter, because you don’t have the mobs targeted, you have the party targeted. It’s not the healer’s job to watch threat, because it’s the tank’s job to make sure to stay ahead of the healer on threat. If you’re used to your boring job healing a tank doing his or her job correctly, you’ve never had to watch threat at all, so you probably have no idea how much you generate doing constant big, exciting heals, or how little the tank is generating when they can’t stand still and build it over a smaller pack. I do have some emergency tools to pick up everything at once, but they are meant for emergencies and thus have way too long cooldowns to be useful as a standard pulling tool- and they fail anyway if I have no means of immediately applying more threat, ahead of the healing aggro that will still be ongoing until they’re dead.

If I pull as much as you apparently feel would be fun for you, the mobs will eat you and you will change your whining about my boring pulls to shrieking about how I failed to do my job while, once again, I stand there as the only person who had the health pool and the cooldowns to survive a pack that large.

If you have a need to be constantly doing something important at every moment of an instance in order to have fun, do me and the DPS a favor and go roll a fucking tank.

(Needless to say, this is not directed at all healers, just the ones yipping at me to PULL MORE TANK I’M BORED I ONLY HAVE TO USE MY LITTLE HEALS OMFG PULL PULL. I spoke way too soon about running into fewer douchebags in there.)

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9 Responses to Dear LFD Healers

  1. Kristopher says:

    Are we there yet?

  2. youyankityoutankit says:

    As a tank, that annoys me too.

    When I’m healing, I don’t mind the downtime. I have dual monitors and can catch up on facebook as we go along 😛 And still no one even lose health.

  3. Kristopher says:

    What’s even more annoying is the typical speed-tank.

    Had one run through Old Kingdom so damned fast the lock on the boss fight went up in my face.

    I just sat down and watched the fight … tank ended up taking it on by himself.

    I need a bigger ignore list … or blizz needs to put people who end up on too many ignore lists into their own battlegroup for social retards.

    • minimedic says:

      Kris,

      There is a Curse Addon called “IgnoreMore” that allows for the expansion of an Ignore list, and also lets you put the reason for why you wanted to ignore the person in the first place.

      • Kristopher says:

        Problem with ignoremore is that it doesn’t interface with the LFD queue system the way blizz’s standard /ignore does.

        If you use ignoremore’s external list, you can still be queued with these ‘tards, which defeats the reason for putting people on different servers on ignore in the first place.

    • youyankityoutankit says:

      I recommend the addon ElitistGroup – you can’t ignore more with it, but you can put notes as to what problem you had with the player. When you get thrown in with them again, you’ll have the note there to indicate what and why… and you can decide whether to endure it or not.

      Speed run tanks can be annoying, but I’ve been guilty of speed running on my tanks on occasion to keep dps and healers from pulling entire rooms for me while I try and set a reasonable pace… sometimes it’s easier to do it than to fight that fight for the hundredth time.

  4. LabRat says:

    I don’t pull a boss if any of my Grid boxes are grey (out of range). I don’t pull a boss with a lockout unless I’m sure everyone is not just in range, but in the room.

    Led to funtimes with yet another healer whose explicit position was that the DPS were, by definition of being DPS, too useless to wait on.

  5. minimedic says:

    That healer can come run with me, ’cause I make healers work, both on the 80 lock and the 66 pally tank…

  6. Tam says:

    I’d rather be bored than dead….

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