Let’s Not Even Get Into the Tree Puns

So, on a recent heroic Vortex Pinnacle run, Altairus deigned to cough up his Axe of Ambiguity for me. I was thrilled, as it was a nice upgrade over the quested Twilight Highlands mace I’d been swinging around, which had always looked like nothing so much as a glorified meat tenderizer to me. (Not that there’s anything wrong with simple weapon designs- the swords I like best just look like swords- but Jujutan is a crusader for righteous sun worship, not a chef.) Since I deemed that worth enchanting, I looked up desirable tanking enchants. Since the good one costs six maelstrom crystals and I’m not likely to be able to afford that in a looong time, I figured mending was a reasonably cheap compromise, at least until I get something I can expect to be keeping so long windwalk is worth saving my gold for.

Which is how I came to look like this:

Ossifer Tree termed it “the place where particle effects go to die”. I think it looks like there’s a druid furiously masturbating in my pocket. Stingray wants to know if I’m going to go hang out in Moonglade and offer respecs. Caffeinated Kitty wanted to know if those are pot leaves. (NO THEY ARE NOT GOD DAMMIT.) Thing One and Thing Two simply cowered before me.

Dammit, I have nothing against druids, but I’m a paladin; they’re meant to be draped in bits of plantlife and animal parts, and I’m meant to be draped in holy vengeance. When I was still wearing my Wrath stuff, my upper body was on fire with righteousness and I was clad in black steel. Now I’m more or less metallic in appearance, but I’m also constantly covered in swirling leaves, which is by far the more visually arresting- especially if I’m mounted on the Sparklepony, in which case I’m constantly trailing a vigorous effects cloud of stars and leaves. I look like the Wizard of Cannabis.

I have never been more tempted to buy gold.